Face Painting

I remember vividly the day my Father referred to makeup as “face paint.” He’s always been such a simple, manly dude…I don’t know how the universe stuck him with three daughters, and of course a wife….all girly enough to force him to spend at least 1/3 of his life waiting around for us. It must have been a day when one or more likely - all four of us - were taking too long to get ready, and he yelled up the stairs: “Are you done painting your face yet?” I remember yelling back “NO! FIVE MORE MINUTES! JESUS, DAD!” Anyway, his comment stuck with me. Face paint. That’s essentially what makeup is. How un-glamorous.

Anyway, when I delved into the world of face primer recently, I thought of my Dad – not creepy at all, right? But seriously – primer. It’s spackle for your face. It fills in the holes on your skin and smoothes out the surface before you put on the main layer of foundation, just like spackle and primer do when you’re painting the walls of your home.

There are tons of different primers out there – I think MakeUp Forever is the first kind I ever saw for sale, and I thought it was only for models or professional makeup artists at photo shoots – definitely not for me. But when every brand that is a real brand began coming out with primers, I figured it was time for me jump on the bandwagon. I tested a few - most felt oily and slippery, and with my perpetual fear of breakouts on my overly-reactive skin, I stayed away for a while.

Then L’Oreal came along and comforted me with their mass-merchandising genius. They introduced Magic Perfecting Base at drugstores. For around $13 for 0.5 oz, it’s not much cheaper per ounce than what you can get for higher-end brands, but in my mind, this was my rationale: L’Oreal makes products for real people, not models or professional makeup artists, so this one won’t steer me wrong. It won’t make me look over-done or break me out. Thankfully, for once, I was right. This stuff is velvety perfection, and somehow doesn’t break me out because it’s so light.

It’s a pink mousse-like consistency and a little goes a long way. It fills in my acne scars and the moon-sized pores near my nose. It helps my makeup stay on longer.

I don’t use it every day…mostly because I’m lazy. But for a night out or a workday that I know will be particularly long, it does the job.

What do you guys think of primer? Do you use it? What kinds have you tried? Or if you don’t use it because you already have perfect skin and small pores, then good for you and go play in traffic.

Are You Glowing or Radiating?

If you were to ask me what my relationship with bronzer is right now, I would say that we have a generally beneficial, healthy and active relationship. However, that was not always the case. I had a slight addiction to bronzer a few years back…And by “slight” I mean “severe.” I was using a color two shades too dark for me, and layering it on like I was doing paint by numbers on my face. The addiction became so bad that my best friend had to intervene. God bless her heart - she dragged me to a local beauty shop and forced me to be consulted by a professional so I would no longer look like a “radioactive orange.” Yes, she really said that. She’s never been one to hide her true feelings and I believe she had the best of intentions. Whatever, no - Actually she’s just a bitch. Anyway, I spent a stupid amount of money on some gorgeous Laura Mercier products and I never looked back.

Thankfully, ever since that bittersweet day at the makeup counter, I have strived to maintain a journey on healthy-glow-path instead of radioactive-road, and I think I have succeeded.

I admit - I still use two different bronzers every day, but I can explain! I use a matte bronzer first, and then lightly dust a shimmery bronzer over it to get some sort of liveliness in my cheeks. Until my life becomes exciting enough to attain this cheek-liveliness without makeup, I have no choice but to layer the life onto my face. Sorry.

So, what products do I use?

I recently discovered Too Faced Chocolate Soleil bronzer, and the first time I wore it, it made me happier than I was at my first ‘Nsync concert in 1999. It’s an amazing matte color: no shimmer and it’s brown, never orange. Also, it’s made with actual cocoa powder, so it smells like chocolate…I just kind of feel like that’s all I need to say.

And for the shimmer, NARS knows what’s up. My relationship with NARS Laguna bronzer has been the longest relationship I’ve ever had. It’s the perfect dose of shimmer for every day. But if you know anything at all, you already knew that. If you didn’t already know that, then now you do…and you’re welcome.

So, today, take a look in the mirror and check yourself. Ask yourself, “Am I glowing or am I radiating?” If you hold an orange up to your face….do they match? If so, you’re radiating. Go grab your bitchiest friend and re-evaluate your life and beauty choices. If your face and the orange do not match, then good job, Glowy McGlowstien - you're on the right track. But I still need you to buy the chocolate bronzer.

What bronzers do you use, beauts? Do you opt for shimmer or matte? Are you offended that I use two kinds? Have you ever had a bronzer-vention? Write a blog post about it and spam the comments with the link. I’m serious, go for it - I respect shamelessness.